People-Pleasing as Threat Management: The Burnout Cycles That Led to a Heart Attack

What happens when people-pleasing isn't just a personality trait, it's survival? When over-functioning isn't perfectionism, it's threat management? For Stephanie, it meant cycles of burnout that persisted until her body finally spoke up: a spontaneous coronary artery dissection. A heart attack at 40.

We talk about:
•Growing up with a volatile father and learning that people-pleasing keeps you safe
•Middle school bullying as a curvy Latina girl in a stick-thin white community
•How relational trauma and insecurity shaped every sexual relationship for decades
•Writing three-hour emails because little-girl-you is terrified of being misinterpreted
•The brilliant shenanigans: faking gallbladder attacks, forging school letters, stealing a whole week just to sit in closets and poke things with sticks
•Knowing you needed to daydream and recharge, but having no language or analytics for why
•Finding a work persona that finally worked: the last-name-only database engineer who could produce anything
•Thirteen years of productivity until "parts started falling off the car"
•The heart attack that happened while working through chest pain - and what SCAD (spontaneous coronary artery dissection) reveals about connective tissue and autistic bodies
•Cycles of burnout that spiral tighter: when recovery takes longer than the fall
Sexual burnout and the body's full-stop refusal to participate
•Music as both salvation and shame
•Writing 200+ pages of memoir and turning pain into animated storytelling
•Moon Unmasked: creating an autistic memoir through animation to protect identity while sharing truth

Guest: Stephanie is a late-diagnosed autistic adult, database engineer, and creator of Moon Unmasked, an animated memoir series exploring the mass misinterpretations and survival strategies that shaped her life. She's a Latina woman from LA, a survivor of burnout and a literal heart attack, and someone who is looking to share her story in a creative new way.

Find Stephanie:
YouTube: @MoonUnmasked
Instagram: @xancthus

Mentioned in this episode:
•SCAD (Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection)
•Connective tissue disorders and autistic bodies
•The conical pendulum metaphor for burnout cycles
•Lola Blankets (the best weighted blankets)

Resources:
•Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram @neurokoryous
•Unmasking Retreats: koryandreas.com
YouTube: @ThatsMePod