From Climate Justice to PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) Safe Circles: Why Community Is the Answer

"My motto now is: it's all here, whether you like it or not, and we'll figure it out. That's so different than the first 40 years of my life where my motto was fix it and do it and own it and control it." — Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman

Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman came through climate justice, congregational leadership, and a burnt-out autistic body raising a high-needs autistic child who wanted the calendar recited as a bedtime story.

Her son's burnout at age five, despite doing everything "right," despite being neurodivergent-affirming, despite zero childhood trauma, led her to PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) . And what she built from there changed everything we know about PDA. Rabbi Shoshana is the creator of the PDA Safe Circle, an approach that's actionable, visual, intuitive, and completely different from anything else in the PDA space.

In this episode, Rabbi Shoshana explains why "low demand" isn't enough, how to actually map what's jabbing at your (or your child's) safe circle, and creating the conditions where thriving is possible. We also talk about grief work, community organizing, and trusting unconventional paths.

We also talk about:

• The PDA Safe Circle approach: what it is, how it works, and why it's different

• Why arrows (not just demands) are what really matter

• The antenna around our safe circles that detect threats to autonomy, control, social equality, and co-regulation

• How climate grief work prepared her for disability advocacy

• Building an online community that's actually hopeful and safe

This conversation will change how you think about PDA, autonomy, trust, and what it means to build a life that actually fits.

Find Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman:

• Website: https://pdasafecircle.com

• Instagram: @rabbishoshana

• Free resources: Free coloring book (for all ages), blog with resources at pdasafecircle.com

PDA Safe Circle Community:

• Everyone gets a free week

• Accessibility rates available :no one is turned away

• One-on-one coaching, staff training, clinician certification program

Mentioned in this episode:

• PDA North America Conference

• Amanda Diekman podcast (life-changing for understanding PDA)

• Jenna Goldstein (ND3): https://nd3.org

Resources:

• Learn more about high-masking, late-diagnosed autism: Instagram @neurokoryous

• Unmasking Retreats: https://koryandreas.com

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