“Your Child is Not Broken” by Heidi Mavir
Heidi shares her story of discovering her child’s neurodivergence and subsequently her own. Her account of this journey is honest, raw, and helpful. As an added note: Heidi’s use of the “f word’ is delightfully poetic.
Heidi sheds light on the way well intentioned professionals/schools/helpers can drop the ball for Autistic kids. This book is a quick read that will be well worth your time.
“Research from the University of Cambridge has shown that up to 66% of autistic adults have thought about taking their own life, and 35% have attempted suicide. Around 1% of people in the UK are diagnosed as autistic, yet;
”up to 15% of people hospitalised after attempting suicide have a diagnosis of autism.”
“If you’re reading this and thinking “Oooh. Interesting. My kid is neurodivergent and I think my partner is too.” I have a little extra cat to throw amongst the pigeons. In the same way, as Neurodivergent parents have Neurodivergent kids, Neurodivergent folks often couple with other Neurodivergent folks. So yes, there is a good chance that the other parent of your neurodivergent child is neurodivergent. There’s also a pretty good chance that you are too! I’m not here to amateur diagnose you. I just want to share that - sometimes - in the domino effect of realisations about neurodivergence, ours is the last domino in the line. I identified a shedload of autistic people around me (including the father of my child, my parents, my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and nephews) before the penny dropped that I was Neurodivergent too.”
“Typical gaslighting techniques include denying or questioning your child’s neurodivergence, downplaying the impact of their challenges, or even retelling events so that you take the blame. Celebra says that parents find the process of dealing with local authorities “humiliating, intimidating and bullying”. Gaslighting can look like being told that you are mollycoddling your child, being told that they are “fine” when you aren’t there. It’s often implied (or parents are often gaslit during our interactions
even explicitly stated) that the only people letting our child down is us.”
